Nut Ball

 

Nut Ball in a Nutshell
Terminology
Official Rules
Results
Nut Ball on "Perk @ Play"

 

Nut Ball in a Nutshell

Nut Ball is an exciting new game devised in the north woods of Minnesota. All that's required to play is a whistling Nerf football and at least two players. Each player needs a floatation devise (inner-tube, air-mattress, etc.) and set of twigs and berries.  Players score points by hitting other players in or near the groin. First player to the pre-determined number of points wins!

Let's play!!

Terminology

Bingo - A direct hit in the balls. 5 points.
Facial - A direct hit in the face. 0 points.
Taking a dump - Falling off of your floatation device, either accidentally or intentionally. -1 point.
Climax - The end of the game. A player achieving the number of points needed to win has "climaxed".
Being premature - Covering oneself to prevent a Bingo. Automatic 5 points given to the pitcher.
Sledge - The whistling Nerf football.
Commando - A free ball. Up for a steal.

Official Rules

  • A game must consist of two or more players.  Playing by yourself will make you go blind.

  • The target score must be agreed upon in advance. Players must also determine the initial thrower.

  • The game begins with the initial thrower targeting the person on his left. If no point is scored by the thrower, play continues clockwise.

  • Any point scored by the receiver results in a change in the direction of play. The thrower becomes the target. (This rule rewards the point scorer by getting them the sledge back. It also makes it possible for a player to be skunked.)

  • Points are scored by either a hit in the 'twigs and berries' (Bingo! - 5 points) or from nipples to kneecaps (1 point).

  • Falling off a floatation device (taking a dump) results in the loss of one point. This does not cause a change in the direction of play.

  • The receiver must arrange him/herself in the 'birthing' position to signify that they are ready to receive the sledge in the groin.

  • When the sledge goes commando (either by a bad catch or by bouncing off of a tube) it is available to be stolen. If someone other than the receiver obtains the sledge after a commando, they become the thrower and play resumes in the same direction.

  • The sledge cannot go commando as a result of a poor throw which gives someone other than the receiver a chance to recover the sledge.

  • It is legal to take a dump in order to win a commando. You still lose a point, but this can be strategery.

Results

July 1st, 2002

D. Lundgren - 25, J. Neau - 20, S. Dauplaise - 8

July 2nd, 2002

J. Neau - 25, D. Lundgren - 24, S. Dauplaise - 18

August 9th, 2003

J. Neau 15, D. Lundgren 12

Nut Ball on "Perk @ Play"

We thought "Nut Ball" was such a cool game that we needed to spread the word. The following chronicles our attempts to get Eric Perkins of KARE-11 to focus on "Nut Ball" for one of his "Perk @ Play" segments.


-----Original Message-----
Sent: Monday, July 08, 2002 8:06 AM
To: Kare-perkatplay (KARE)
Subject: New sport for Eric!

message: Check this out, Perk!
http://home.attbi.com/~jneau/nutball.html

-----Original Message-----
From: Perkins, Eric [mailto:elvis@kare.gannett.com] On Behalf Of Kare-perkatplay (KARE)
Sent: Monday, September 09, 2002 8:03 PM
Subject: RE: New sport for Eric!

Due to a black hole in our e mail system, I just now received this message!
My apologies for not responding earlier. Anyway, thanks for the note!
Too funny!
I checked the website.....
lets try to do this next year sometime, huh?
perk
Check out the new Perk at Play page on KARE11.com !!!!! (Click on Sports, and then Perk at Play)

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Monday, September 09, 2002 8:41 PM
To: 'Kare-perkatplay (KARE)'
Subject: RE: New sport for Eric!

Right, Perk,
I'd *really* like to be there when you pitch this to your producer...
Maybe you could tape it and save it to air in case they ever piss you off.
I'm sure Diana would love it!